I’m probably skipping ahead… but so is my will 😊
I’m quite sick – my health is precarious at best. I have multiple sclerosis and bi-polar lite. It’s a lot of illness for a 31 year old girl (now 32 year old woman).
And journeling is how I process everything. It has helped me realise my actual feelings about a lot of things and find my authentic voice.
Half-way through writing a book called ‘My MS-ey Life’ I realised it was all pretty, romanticised bullshit. It was difficult but I started to be honest with myself. Having MS sucks many balls.
Life has felt better since then, and I’m making more healthy decisions.
It is well known in the alt. health world for its therapeutic value and I thoroughly endorse it.
(I might still write the book but it will look very different.)
It has been many months… but I came back.
I think I might have found an answer.
One of the problems I have is I’m an idea and strategy person, and not much more. Every week I have a new idea and a strategy to go with it. This week it was:
A hometown-wide community older generation friending venture called ‘Old Friends’. CRBs essential, obviously.
But I know I am not a take it forwarder so I’ve shared the idea and suggested someone else take it forward.
It made me sad to know I couldn’t do it; it’s super unlikely to happen.
There have been many ideas over the years, such as training to be an engineer and building bridges
So I got to thinking… Surely it takes a super-strategy to deal with such a wily brain? And what does that mean?
Strategies I’ve tried before:
- Find a job that works for me (yeah, right).
- Convince myself and employer that I can do it.
- Positive affirmations.
- Push, push, push through the pain.
They don’t work. The only thing I’ve got is compassion and self-love, and a killer idea-factory of a mind, strategy bungy ropes pinging outward. So to make this work for me, rather than against me – I’m 31 and this might be the first time I’ve worked out how to work, long-term, on a single concept of an idea – I have to love myself through each little fall and failure. And not care if I stop. Everything that I do or don’t do is okay.
It’s a tough idea to get into my head, but when I do… watch this space 🙂
First blog! Very exciting.
Well, it has been a journey just to be here talking to you today. I’ll spare you the tale of being born and all such unlikely events that did really happen. I’ll even leave tales of gruesome maladies to a future blog. But I will tell you one simple fact: I HATE working.
And I’m not talking no ‘I hate Mondays’, ‘when’s home time’ common hatred. I’m talking an absolute incapacity to do it. Sweats, shakes… that business.
But, I’ve decided to learn to love it. So here I am, dipping my toe in the water, and quite enjoying it really!
Til next time…