My mum is having a Christmas party today. As excited as I am to see friends and family, I have to admit I find these things a bit of a trial. Old memories become fresh again, etc. This time, however, I have approached it slightly differently.
‘How can I support you?’ I asked my mum. This gives me the security of knowing what I’m doing today,, and the happiness factor of knowing I’m supporting someone.
Our souls are beautiful – we all know that. We also all know that everyone is a good person, deep down. We have all just been skewed in various ways by our parents/relatives/friends/life in general. What matters now is how we act and how we love. We can be bitter and twisted, or we can care and support.
This post isn’t quite about that, though. It’s about love, and how we approach being a partner. Yes, we are, in general, slightly fucked up good people. What matters is not the beauty of our souls, though, but the grace with which we look after ourselves. This is the trick, the knack, the reality to love and life.
Every creature has a lot to overcome. I have an illness or two, etc. Sometimes life can be a struggle. For everyone. But how we see our challenges radically changes our future. Here’s how: if we just mope around feeling sorry for ourselves, what scope is there for making a positive outcome happen? I can’t see it. The only way to make positive changes is to see each challenge as a chance to grow.
How do we deal with uncertainty? Well, letting go of the ‘I can’t cope’ story is a start. When we engage in a mindfulness practice, we start to see the narratives we tell ourselves for what they are; stories we tell ourselves.
But what if we’re wrong, what if instead of being fearful creatures we’re actually strong and resourceful?
When you engage in mindfulness, you can battle things that usually give you the trembles, like uncertainty, by seeing through your mind’s usual story. And you can write a newer, truer one, if you like.
I am working on it. I am. Acceptance is the root of mindfulness. Sometimes you’re happy, sometimes you’re sad. If you accept each state as it comes, without holding on to any state, then you have done it. You are being mindful. You are at peace.
Yes, bad stuff happens. But, essentially, we are in control of our own lives. With each healthy meal we eat, with each workout that we do, we are shaping the future we want – a future that will make us happy. It is implicit, then, that success is completely subjective.
To me, success is having a healthy body and mind. I’d like to help others. I’d like to have financial freedom, and handle that with integrity.
I have bipolar. We all know that. But what I’d like to talk about is how wonderful the people around me are. I live in a building filled with people mentally and physically different from ‘normal’. They are truly and thoroughly some of the best people I have ever met. So understanding, so caring.
Don’t judge us or pity us. The only hardship we face is people that don’t care.