The way things have gone recently, I don’t feel like I have very much agency at the moment. It is not my ideal situation. So to get through, this time, I am using the ‘one day’ trick. I know that one day I will have freedom and will have a lot of agency over my own life.
What are your tricks for getting through less than ideal situations?
Our souls are beautiful – we all know that. We also all know that everyone is a good person, deep down. We have all just been skewed in various ways by our parents/relatives/friends/life in general. What matters now is how we act and how we love. We can be bitter and twisted, or we can care and support.
This post isn’t quite about that, though. It’s about love, and how we approach being a partner. Yes, we are, in general, slightly fucked up good people. What matters is not the beauty of our souls, though, but the grace with which we look after ourselves. This is the trick, the knack, the reality to love and life.
How do we deal with uncertainty? Well, letting go of the ‘I can’t cope’ story is a start. When we engage in a mindfulness practice, we start to see the narratives we tell ourselves for what they are; stories we tell ourselves.
But what if we’re wrong, what if instead of being fearful creatures we’re actually strong and resourceful?
When you engage in mindfulness, you can battle things that usually give you the trembles, like uncertainty, by seeing through your mind’s usual story. And you can write a newer, truer one, if you like.
What can I say… I always love dressing up. Dressing for an occasion is one of my favourite pass-times; it occupies a lot of my thoughts. Recently, I have been thinking about how to dress for ‘work’ (when this blog has got where I plan for it to go), and I have decided to start dressing for it now. I believe it will open more doors; the right doors, the more I do.
So, I have found the perfect brand and I bought a dress today. My wardrobe is excited for it’s revamp.
Yes, bad stuff happens. But, essentially, we are in control of our own lives. With each healthy meal we eat, with each workout that we do, we are shaping the future we want – a future that will make us happy. It is implicit, then, that success is completely subjective.
To me, success is having a healthy body and mind. I’d like to help others. I’d like to have financial freedom, and handle that with integrity.
Life can be confusing. Looking after ourselves, looking after others. Deciding our paths. Deciding what socks to wear. Dealing with heartbreak and loss. Having to curb our more expensive or sweet food habits. Fitting in exercise. Staying well. Loving, forgiving. And sometimes, saying no. It’s a minefield.
It is a constant path, working all that out. It really is. Thankfully as you get older, though, or as you learn more about your illness(es), it becomes easier, and you know roughly what you’re doing.
When things have got difficult, though, you find you can take solace in the small things; fresh sheets, a cup of hot chocolate. Have a look and see what lovely things are around you today.