My mum is having a Christmas party today. As excited as I am to see friends and family, I have to admit I find these things a bit of a trial. Old memories become fresh again, etc. This time, however, I have approached it slightly differently.
‘How can I support you?’ I asked my mum. This gives me the security of knowing what I’m doing today,, and the happiness factor of knowing I’m supporting someone.
Our souls are beautiful – we all know that. We also all know that everyone is a good person, deep down. We have all just been skewed in various ways by our parents/relatives/friends/life in general. What matters now is how we act and how we love. We can be bitter and twisted, or we can care and support.
This post isn’t quite about that, though. It’s about love, and how we approach being a partner. Yes, we are, in general, slightly fucked up good people. What matters is not the beauty of our souls, though, but the grace with which we look after ourselves. This is the trick, the knack, the reality to love and life.
I am in the fortunate position of looking considerably younger than I am. It is lovely, and I do what I can to keep it this way; face yoga, meditation, seeds in my porridge. Daily smoothies packed with ground seeds and powders. I also take about 14 different supplements every day.
Stepping into the business world as a young-looking person, however, is a different story. People struggle to support a young person, emotionally. It is a primal urge. I hold no judgement. Ageing is hard – hence the aforementioned daily routine.
I think compassion is the only way through it, for the young and old. We all have our struggles. Remember young people do not have the experience to understand their emotions yet. Growing up is a rough time. Likewise society persecutes us for ageing, despite all the experience and understanding and philosophising we offer.
Carers and support workers are not paid well enough, or often trained well enough, for the job they do. Their job is complex and nuanced. Their ego takes the back seat while they support the needs of another, while, if they are a good carer, gaining gratification from a job well done.
Needs may comprise of ‘getting on and off the toilet’ on the care plan, but we are dealing with real people here. The words ‘with dignity’ are implied. Why aren’t they written down, and the remit of this to the individual specified?
There is no status in this role. While firemen, police officers and nurses are all valued for their contribution to society, carers are stratified, and their classification holds no glory. Nobody grows up saying ‘I want to be a carer when I grow up.’
If those in a caring role were paid more and trained better, there would be better health outcomes for the sick/elderly/mentally different. Care workers would enjoy their jobs more, and take more pride in doing a good job. Why haven’t the government addressed this issue? Because, I can only assume, they do not care about the sick/elderly/mentally different. They have not put dignity at the heart of care and they underpay those providing the service. It is carelessness, at best.